Russell Howard Quotes – Funniest Gags

Russell Howard first made his mark on the comedy world when he reached the final of a prestigious new Channel 4 stand-up event at the Edinburgh Festival – aged just 19. Since then, a freewheeling, apparently effortless style, love of improvisation and an ability to go off on a tangent have helped his meteoric rise to comedy’s premier league.

A panellist on BBC Two’s Mock The Week, he hosts his own BBC Three show Russell Howard’s Good News while also appearing as a regular guest on TV’s Would I Lie to You and Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

• So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say – ‘Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You’ve all sucked on my tits.’
• From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 – stop humping the toaster!
• I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It’s like a child dizzy off lemonade
  (from Never Mind The Buzzcocks)
• I’d love the ability to give someone an orgasm just by touching them
• Russell was asked for his method of stealing a chicken from a supermarket. It involved putting it on his head and simply walking off in the confusion.
• With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: ‘He looked really well in that final video.’ I was, like: ‘No, he didn’t – he looked like someone had melted goat’s cheese over a sex doll.’
• If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there’d be headlines of ‘Russell How-hard’ in the newspapers.
• I’m the munter of my friends. I’ve got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I’m a heart-throb.

Catch Russell Live at the Apollo here:

This funny man appears at arenas across the UK in spring 2011, with his largest and most ambitious tour to date. The DVDs Russell Howard Live and Live Dingledoodies are out now. You can also read his good news blog online.

Image used is from Flickr, used under Creative Commons License.