Lee Mack Quotes! Top Jokes

This comedian first established himself in the mid 1990′s via the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, as so many stand-ups do. As well as being very good doing his stand-up gigs, he has also been successful on the TV and radio.

Known for his energetic performances, and brilliant audience interaction, if you get the chance it is well worth going to see Lee Mack live. Here is a short collection of some of his best jokes:

• “I got recognised today in Dixons, a member of staff came up to me and said ‘hey your that mad bloke off the tele’, I went ‘thats me’, and he went ‘no, your that mad bloke….off the tele!’”
• “I’m in a relationship at the moment…sorry girls…it’s going to have to be your place.”
• “A market researcher said ‘can I ask you 10 questions’, I said ‘go on’, she said ‘question number 1 have you ever had a blackout?’ I said ‘no’, she went…’and finally, question number 10.’”
• “My wife, shes carrying our first child…he’s 8, the lazy little fucker!”
• “Is that a gun in your pocket or you just pleased to see me? No its me knob.”
• “I look like one of those kids who’s going to get a free trip to Disneyland.”
• “My dad, kind of bloke could read out a telephone directory and It’d be funny…to be fair, he used to do it with his cock out.”
• “Hey, you couldn’t write stuff like that could ya!! Of course you could…I did”.
• (about cars) “I would say ‘has it got a cup holder, and will it make birds touch my cock?’”.
• (about ‘They Think It’s all Over’) “They did 19 series and then I did 1 and they cancelled it.”

Here is also a quick clip of him in action doing stand up:

If you want to watch more of this very funny man in action you an buy his highly rated DVDs. If you keep your eyes on peeled on Sky you may also catch Mr Mack (real name Lee Gordon McKillop) in some shows he has appeared on in the past.

The image used is a screendump from the video.