Keith Lemon Quotes – Lines from Celebrity Juice

Shown on ITV2, ‘Celebrity Juice’ is known for it’s constant crude sexual jokes, hot guests and Keith Lemon’s catchphrases. Regular panel members are Holly Willoughby, Fern Cotton and Rufus Hound. Their have been many guests, including Chris Moyles, Emma Bunton, Richard Bacon, Christine Bleakley, Lorraine Kelly, Brian Dowling, Diana Vickers, Holly Valance, JLS, Kevin Bishop and Verne Troyer.

Here are lots of Keith Lemon quotes from the Celebrity Juice show.

• Bang tidy!
• I would smash your back doors in.
• I’m gunna go lay a little brown carrot during the ad break. I’ll See you after the ad break!
• Potato!!
• Don’t be a dingbat.
• On the head is different sectors. Or if you’re American, secTORS.
• VT stands for video tape.
• I’d wreck that chick.
• I’d ruin you.
• And the scores at the end of that round are – Shetingggg!
• I’ll go get the prop, it’s behind these curtains…these beef curtains.
• [to Katie Price] Ohhh I don’t know. I’d mash you up I would.
• [to Richard Bacon] Richard, you do stuff on Radio 5, what is Radio 5?
• Choose a categ-or-or-or-y
• Lesbikons
• This game is as simple as peas
• Her bangers are full of milk right now because she’s having a baby. Holly, who’s on your team?

Want to know more about Keith? Well, he is the comic creation of Lee Francis (you know, from Bo’ Selecta!). The character is reportedly based on a real friend. You can catch the show on ITV2, and their are loads of clips on YouTube also. It contains rounds such as Lemon Head, Keith vs Jedward and Cover Stories.

Got any other funny lines from the show? Share them in the comments section below.

Post first published 19 September 2011.
About Author: Chris. I am a full-time writer, blogging on a variety of websites. I love comedy and enjoy posting about it every week.