Jethro Jokes – British Comedian Quotes

The veteran funny man, “the cream of cornish comedy”, is back with yet another DVD for 2010 (released November 22nd), just in time for Christmas! It is from his new live tour and is called Jethro Jokes Told It My Way‘I Told it My Way’. So to celebrate this comic I thought we would get together some funny jethro jokes.

Alcohol:
Alcohol killed my first wife. I got home drunk one night and shot her.

Shaving your pubes:
We had this Polish woman staying with us and my wife run her a bath and when she turned round the woman was completely hairless down there….looked like a money box!

Plastic surgery:
I’m not in very good mood. My wife, the cow, I lend her a thousand pounds to have plastic surgery, now I can’t get the money back and I don’t know who to look for.

Tattoos:
My wife knew that I was a big fan of Bridgette Bardot so she thought it’d be a sexy surprise if she had a ‘B’ tattooed on each of her arse cheeks. When I came into the bedroom she was on all fours as she asked ‘Who does that make you think of?’ and all I could think of was ‘Bob’!

Safe sex:
I was giving this girl a portion up against a chip shop and it was pretty wild. I explained to her that I’d not had it in 2 years because I’d been in the VD clinic. She replied ‘How’s the food? I’m going in tomorrow!’.

Fish:
A guy walks into a chip shop with a cod under his arm. “Here, do you sell Fish Cakes?”, chip shop guy says “sorry No”. “Shame that, it was his birthday today”.

Keeping the wife sweet:
I’d been out drinking til 4.15 in the morning and there’s the bastard wife waiting on the doorstep with a broom. She didn’t seem to like it when I asked her ‘Are you late finishing cleaning or are you going for a flight?’

Christmas:
I bought her a car for christmas. She said ‘that’s no good to me, I want something that will go from 0-160 in 3 seconds’. So I bought her bathroom scales.

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2 old thoughts on “Jethro Jokes – British Comedian Quotes”.
  1. MARIE says:

    BRILLIANT I HAD A REAL GOOD LAUGH

  2. Chris says:

    He has loads of DVDs if you want to watch more of him. Very funny!