We’ve posted some funny limericks before. Now here are 4 dirty limericks! They are all taken from the beginning of a new book titled Dirty Limericks,
These are adult themed so if you are easily offended, you better leave now!
There was a young man from Kildare,
Who was having his girl on the stair,
On the forty-fourth stroke,
The banister broke,
And he finished her off in mid-air!
There was a young girl of Cape Cod,
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But it was not the Almighty,
Who lifted her nightie,
It was Roger the lodger, that sod!
There was a young man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn’t have been,
If his father had seen,
That the end of the rubber was torn.
There was a young chap from out yonder,
Who buggered a big anaconda,
He regretted this crime,
For the rest of his time,
While the reptile grew fonder and fonder.
If you love funny limericks check out the book,
Post first published 01 April 2009.
About Author: Chris. I am a full-time writer, blogging on a variety of websites. I love comedy and enjoy posting about it every week.
There once was a gay boy name Levar.
Who fuck mike in the back of the car.
the horn went beep.
they both went skeet.
and now they can’twalkon there feet.
My limeric ;D
There once was a man from china
Who wanted to have a vagina
So he sat on a rock
And cut off his cock
And now he’s got a manjina.
There was a girl from Sydney.
She could take it right up to her kedney.
But a guy from Qubeck,
shoved it up to her neck.
He had a long one, didn’t he?
Tired of her husband’s great mass,
newly wed stuffed her vagina with glass.
Prick of her hubby
is now short and stubby.
For wife, she can piss through her ass.
There was a girl from Exeter
So beautiful, that men craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave,
to take out and wave,
distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
I once knew a girl from Wheeling,Who had a particular feeling,She laid on her back and tickled her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling
There was a girl named clair.
Her body was completely covered with hair.
It was quite a fun,
to poke her with one’s gun.
You know, her quimmy may be anywhere!
this little boy named dog swalloew a frog, but than his mother saidthat it was a log,but afther a party he sung a song, wich he stole from a grounghog,they found out it was grounghogs day on th same day as his birthday.
my limericks that i created:
There once was a Man named Obama.
ha ha ha (my new limerick)
Who ate a really nasty vagina
But the Whore that he ate, had syphillis on her taint,
And now he is the President of the United States
HOLY SHIT!
There once was a man named Osama;
Who could not hide from the bombs of Obama;
Till one day when seals came to play;
who then blew his but up to Mohammad.
Tweedle dee, tweedle dumb
They could not carry anymore rum
So they hired me to run that rum
but i drank it until i cummed,
all over that Puerto rican Bum
Jack be nible;
jack be quick;
jack jumped over the candlestick;
but oops he slipped upon the stick;
which went up his ass, and now he is
jack be queer with a candlestick in his ass.
Mary who is 21 yrs old
had a little lamb
who’s fleece was white as snow
then one day the whore came to play
and i fucked her all day like a whore
there was once a woman named Tracy
who took too much extacy;
As i laid down beside her;
my prick slipped inside her
she then screams like a banshee;
(put it in the wrong hole)
Hairy hairy sweet little cherry
how i wander how old you are
twas a blessing to lick your taint
I shall taste you again in the morning
Hairy hairy sweet little cherry
how i wander how old you are
twas a mistake to lick your taint
now im hell a mournin.
Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
eating her kurds and whey
along came a spider and sat down beside her
and said “YO Bitch! how much for a blow job?”