Dirty Limericks – Adult Themed Limericks

We’ve posted some funny limericks before. Now here are 4 dirty limericks! They are all taken from the beginning of a new book titled Dirty Limericks,which is available to buy now, I’m sure you can work out what the book contains ;)

These are adult themed so if you are easily offended, you better leave now!

There was a young man from Kildare,
Who was having his girl on the stair,
On the forty-fourth stroke,
The banister broke,
And he finished her off in mid-air!

There was a young girl of Cape Cod,
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But it was not the Almighty,
Who lifted her nightie,
It was Roger the lodger, that sod!

There was a young man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born,
And he wouldn’t have been,
If his father had seen,
That the end of the rubber was torn.

There was a young chap from out yonder,
Who buggered a big anaconda,
He regretted this crime,
For the rest of his time,
While the reptile grew fonder and fonder.

If you love funny limericks check out the book,would maybe make a nice present as well if you know a real joker.


Post first published 01 April 2009.
AvatarAbout Author: Chris. I am a full-time writer, blogging on a variety of websites. I love comedy and enjoy posting about it every week.

Want more laughs?

Enjoy this article? Share now.

    Space

Latest tweets.

Blinkbox

Space

Do you love movies? If so there is no better place to watch films online than at www.blinkbox.com.

10 Comments - Add Yours!
  1. nkdgblihr  June 8th, 2009

    There once was a gay boy name Levar.
    Who fuck mike in the back of the car.
    the horn went beep.
    they both went skeet.
    and now they can’twalkon there feet.

  2. Lew Brereton  November 17th, 2010

    My limeric ;D

    There once was a man from china
    Who wanted to have a vagina
    So he sat on a rock 
    And cut off his cock
    And now he’s got a manjina.

  3. Jadhav  January 18th, 2011

    There was a girl from Sydney.
    She could take it right up to her kedney.
    But a guy from Qubeck,
    shoved it up to her neck.
    He had a long one, didn’t he?

  4. Jadhav  January 21st, 2011

    Tired of her husband’s great mass,
    newly wed stuffed her vagina with glass.
    Prick of her hubby
    is now short and stubby.
    For wife, she can piss through her ass.

  5. Jadhav  January 21st, 2011

    There was a girl from Exeter
    So beautiful, that men craned their necks at her.
    One was even so brave,
    to take out and wave,
    distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

  6. Gary Guddal  February 20th, 2011

    I once knew a girl from Wheeling,Who had a particular feeling,She laid on her back and tickled her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling

  7. jadhav  February 25th, 2011

    There was a girl named clair.
    Her body was completely covered with hair.
    It was quite a fun,
    to poke her with one’s gun.
    You know, her quimmy may be anywhere!

  8. DEZZY  April 4th, 2011

    this little boy named dog swalloew a frog, but than his mother saidthat it was a log,but afther a party he sung a song, wich he stole from a grounghog,they found out it was grounghogs day on th same day as his birthday.

  9. George  July 19th, 2011

    my limericks that i created:

    There once was a Man named Obama.
    Who ate a really nasty vagina
    But the Whore that he ate, had syphillis on her taint,
    And now he is the President of the United States
    HOLY SHIT! :) ha ha ha (my new limerick)

    There once was a man named Osama;
    Who could not hide from the bombs of Obama;
    Till one day when seals came to play;
    who then blew his but up to Mohammad.

    Tweedle dee, tweedle dumb
    They could not carry anymore rum
    So they hired me to run that rum
    but i drank it until i cummed,
    all over that Puerto rican Bum

    Jack be nible;
    jack be quick;
    jack jumped over the candlestick;
    but oops he slipped upon the stick;
    which went up his ass, and now he is
    jack be queer with a candlestick in his ass.

    Mary who is 21 yrs old :) had a little lamb
    who’s fleece was white as snow
    then one day the whore came to play
    and i fucked her all day like a whore

    there was once a woman named Tracy
    who took too much extacy;
    As i laid down beside her;
    my prick slipped inside her
    she then screams like a banshee;
    (put it in the wrong hole) :)

    Hairy hairy sweet little cherry
    how i wander how old you are
    twas a blessing to lick your taint
    I shall taste you again in the morning :)

    Hairy hairy sweet little cherry
    how i wander how old you are
    twas a mistake to lick your taint
    now im hell a mournin. :)

  10. George  July 19th, 2011

    Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
    eating her kurds and whey
    along came a spider and sat down beside her
    and said “YO Bitch! how much for a blow job?”

Add Your Comment!

  (required)

  (required, not shown publicly)

Comment: